The baby crisis

So, first let's start with the stats. Am married, am 30 (and just over 6 months), majority of close friends have at least two children, youngest sister is contemplating "trying" in two months directly after her wedding. Have I thought about having babies? Yes. Do I think about it every day? No. Do I worry about not thinking about it everyday? Yes. Is that normal? Not sure.

If I think about lying in bed when I am 85 years old and having nobody to visit me because I decided not to procreate when I was young and vital, I feel I should definitely have them. Tout suite! But if I think about not being able to plan lengthy trips to exotic destinations for the next 20 years, losing the elasticity in my stomach, and my breasts looking more like stretched out nylons than perky citrus fruits, I think "Lord, no!" and quickly consume 7 birth control pills as though they were tic tacs.

So there you have it. What to do?

Oddly, maternity clothes are a big positive to having the babies. Have you seen the maternity clothes lately? Stylish jeans, cute dresses, nice tops. And it all looks so comfy! Very keen to get the maternity clothes. Very keen to eat what I like. Not very keen about the whole "exit procedure" though. Despite hours of research, I have been unable to locate a single article contemplating an alternative "exit procedure" or my specifically, "exit location". I have suspected for a long time, that scientists were not working on this, and it would appear my suspicions are correct. Not one ounce of research is being devoted to this. In my darker moments, I believe this is a government conspiracy aimed at controlling the population. I mean really? They can put a man on the freakin' moon, but they can't alleviate labor pains or collateral vagina/abdomen damage. Really?

But honestly, being a twosome can get quite boring. Perhaps it wouldn't be bad if you had scads of money and could do what you liked, whenever you liked. But the reality is that life is just not that financially dreamy for me, and so we spend alot of time watching the TV. Watching the TV. Watching the TV. And then you start thinking, "You know - we could be watching our baby instead of the TV." And then he's thinking, "Oh my God, I'm going to get some sex." And voila! Procreation.