Material Girl

Day two of my swinging bachelorette lifestyle is no better than day one.  Arguably, it is much worse.  First of all, I don’t feel like writing a funny blog tonight.  I’m cranky and crabby and I’ve had a TERRIBLE work day.  AND I went to Costco after work.  Costco!  And I didn’t think I needed a buggy because I was only going in to buy ravioli, but then I saw the snack sized mini-cheeses and thought, “yes please”, and then I realized we were out of Kleenex, so I picked that up, and then I almost dropped everything because I DIDN”T HAVE A BUGGY!!  BAHHH!!

I made dinner for one, which took the same amount of time to prepare as dinner for two, and when I was finally ready to spew the long and sordid story that was my miserable day, I had nobody to spew to!  I mean, yes, yes, I can “phone a friend”.  But then they can’t see my hand actions, which are vital to the accuracy and drama of my re-enactments.  And then you have to give them all the history, ie. “Jane is married to Bob, who is the brother of Steve, who was the guy that passed out at the Christmas party and peed his pants after the limbo contest.”  The history takes up so much time, that people are usually lost or bored by the time you actually start your story, which takes away from much of the drama; thus yielding reduced empathy from your listener.  See what I mean?  Why even bother?

Now that I have written about the little Costco cheeses, I can hear them calling to me from the fridge.  Have you had these cheeses?  If not, I suggest you get some straight away.  It is a lovely little variety pack consisting of extra aged cheddar, gouda, and edam.  The edam is mon favourie!  It smells like dirty socks and tastes divine.  And with pickles.  Two words – Shut Up!  Yup.  That’s just how good it is.

Ooops, sorry.  Little off topic there.  Ummm . . . what else, what else?  Ah!  I have washed and creamed my face, so all I really have left to do is the teeth.  I leave those to the last possible moment in case I feel like a snack before bed.  I feel positively trashy if I snack after I’ve brushed my teeth for bed.  Feels somehow like I’m cheating on my teeth. 

In the interests of improving my mood, I have contemplated staging a 10 minute living room dance party.  This would also help to burn the calories I am certain to consume when I go to the fridge to visit the Costco cheeses.  Favorite living room dance party song = Material Girl.  Fo Shure!  It can’t be beat.  Groovy tune, catchy lyrics.  I suppose the routine I perform is more akin to an airband – with lots of finger waiving and hair flips.  It’s really quite a show. 

Well people, that’s the round up for day two.  Pretty exciting stuff.  Tomorrow involves a movie date with my sister and obscene amounts of popcorn and M&Ms.  The wild life continues!