One, two, cha, cha, cha . . .

Does anyone else watching Dancing with the Stars and think, “I could do that”?  I just watched Kate Gosselin shuffle her stiff little self across the dance floor and thought, “Pu lease!  Why does Kate get to be on the show!  I would blow her ass right off the dance floor!”  Especially if I had a few cocktails beforehand.  My rhythm increases ten fold with cocktails.  I mean, yes, I know she had like eight babies, but still!  I work for lawyers and wear high heeled shoes ALL day – my life is just as toxic and painful as hers.  And unlike Kate, I have not had the benefit of scads of plastic surgery and hair extensions.  Advantage – Stacey!  Ah, the beauty of living life from one’s couch.  Safe, secure and risk free.  Love it!

The Pussy Cat doll just came out.  Hate her.  She’s skinny, acne free and appears to possess super shiny silky hair.  Bitch!  And her name.  How can you compete with “Pussy Cat Doll”.  Pussy for short.  I mean really.  It’s just too much.  But oh, my can she dance.  She’s all twirly wirly, long tan legs and fanciness.  Like I said – total bitch.  Judge’s love her.  They’re sooooo biased when it comes to the good dancers.

Oh, oh, oh!  Sexy soap star is dancing!  And to Hungry Like the Wolf.  RAWR!  This is some hot stuff for Monday night TV.  His shirt’s all unbuttoned.  His little partner is half naked.  Oh my!  I might need to take up smoking after this.  Judge’s are not a fan of this dance – am totally baffled.  These people are hot!

Pamela Anderson hits the floor.  Honest to God, this woman just exudes trashiness.  Who backcombs their bleach blonde hair?  While wearing a fuchsia mini-dress!  With a thong!  I'm not even going to discuss the breasts.  Not gonna touch it.  You all know what I think about them.  The thing about Pam though is she just revels in her trashiness.  Gets right down in it. She knows she's seen as a trashy bimbo with an IQ of 5 and she couldn't care less.  And this, I have to respect.